Girl Friend Recruitment

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)

Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys

(Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)

Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18- (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)

Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:

Total gross ( Monthly ) :

· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)

· bike rides each duration 1 hour

· trips to National Highways

· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple

· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days

· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-

· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)

· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own

expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability

and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining

The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:

1. Only females.

2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.

3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:

For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,,, never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:

Name/fresher-exp/age.

Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected

Tech Support Incidents

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……FOR JUST
BEING ON THE PHONE. 

TAKE A LOOK:

1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” 
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.” 
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
—————————————- 

2) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?” 
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ******_____####
————————————————–

3) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.” 
Tech support : ////—–+++
————————————————–

4) Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support : ??????
————————————————–

5) Cus tomer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ?!%#$
————————————————–

6) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????
————————————————–

7) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to 
print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support : “What does it say?”
Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?” 
Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support : @@@@@
————————————————–

Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 
24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
————————————————–

9) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”
Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.” 
Tech Support : “Well?”
Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support : *** —- ++++
————————————————–

The best of the lot
10) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply. 
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the 
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support:: (hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke.com/ > at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply. 
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.
————————————————-

Hight Of all (Too Good) 

11) customer care officer: I need a product identification number 
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

The Mom Song

This is the Song which Mom’s would sing to their children

Gruesome Addiction to Beauty Injection

  

Her name is Han Mi Ok, a Korean celebrity who became known as ‘Fan Lady‘ after her disastrous cosmetic surgery. She underwent 15 reconstructive surgery to overhaul her ‘I-don’t-think-it-can-be-fix’ plastic surgery damage. She apparently became obsessed addicted to plastic surgery and couldn’t get enough of the ‘faux-fect face’ ( I made the word up) so she went to quacks just to indulge herself. She even personally performed a facial injection at home. The result�. well you can see it.

She used to look like this before the cosmetic surgery disaster:

And this is how she looks now after the overhaul:

 

 

On the photos above, Han Mi Ok was at the shooting of of 500th episode of Shocking Stories of the World.
I admire her courage to display her damaged face in public and let people see how ungodly  it is to distort ones appearance. I am not totally against plastic surgery but I am also not for it.
She should serve as a lesson to anyone who dreamed of having a ‘faux-fect face’. Think twice before you get cut up and think thrice before you inject yourself with human byproducts.

 

DO NOT, DO NOT INTERFERE WITH NATURE

Art of Asking Questions

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Priest, may I smoke while I pray?” But the Priest says, “No, my son, you may not. That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Priest, may I pray while I smoke?” To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son…by all means.”

 Moral of the story: The reply you get depends on the question you
ask.

Example: Can I work on this project while I’m on vacation??  ;)

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi - Ganesha Symbolism

Happy Ganesh  Chaturthi

Happy Ganesha Chaturthi cards

Happy Ganesha Chaturthi……………..

108 Names Of Lord Ganesha

1 Akhurath One who has Mouse as His Charioteer
2 Alampata Ever Eternal Lord
3 Amit Incomparable Lord
4 Anantachidrupamayam Infinite and Consciousness Personified
5 Avaneesh Lord of the whole World
6 Avighna Remover of Obstacles
7 Balaganapati Beloved and Lovable Child
8 Bhalchandra Moon-Crested Lord
9 Bheema Huge and Gigantic
10 Bhupati Lord of the Gods
11 Bhuvanpati God of the Gods
12 Buddhinath God of Wisdom
13 Buddhipriya Knowledge Bestower
14 Buddhividhata God of Knowledge
15 Chaturbhuj One who has Four Arms
16 Devadeva Lord of All Lords
17 Devantakanashakarin Destroyer of Evils and Asuras
18 Devavrata One who accepts all Penances
19 Devendrashika Protector of All Gods
20 Dharmik One who gives Charity
21 Dhoomravarna Smoke-Hued Lord
22 Durja Invincible Lord
23 Dvaimatura One who has two Mothers
24 Ekaakshara He of the Single Syllable
25 Ekadanta Single-Tusked Lord
26 Ekadrishta Single-Tusked Lord
27 Eshanputra Lord Shiva’s Son
28 Gadadhara One who has The Mace as His Weapon
29 Gajakarna One who has Eyes like an Elephant
30 Gajanana Elephant-Faced Lord
31 Gajananeti Elephant-Faced Lord
32 Gajavakra Trunk of The Elephant
33 Gajavaktra One who has Mouth like an Elephant
34 Ganadhakshya Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
35 Ganadhyakshina Leader of All The Celestial Bodies
36 Ganapati Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
37 Gaurisuta The Son of Gauri (Parvati)
38 Gunina One who is The Master of All Virtues
39 Haridra One who is Golden Coloured
40 Heramba Mother’s Beloved Son
41 Kapila Yellowish-Brown Coloured
42 Kaveesha Master of Poets
43 Krti Lord of Music
44 Kripalu Merciful Lord
45 Krishapingaksha Yellowish-Brown Eyed
46 Kshamakaram The Place of Forgiveness
47 Kshipra One who is easy to Appease
48 Lambakarna Large-Eared Lord
49 Lambodara The Huge Bellied Lord
50 Mahabala Enormously Strong Lord
51 Mahaganapati Omnipotent and Supreme Lord
52 Maheshwaram Lord of The Universe
53 Mangalamurti All Auspicious Lord
54 Manomay Winner of Hearts
55 Mrityuanjaya Conqueror of Death
56 Mundakarama Abode of Happiness
57 Muktidaya Bestower of Eternal Bliss
58 Musikvahana One who has mouse as charioteer
59 Nadapratithishta One who Appreciates and Loves Music
60 Namasthetu Vanquisher of All Evils & Vices & Sins
61 Nandana Lord Shiva’s Son
62 Nideeshwaram Giver of Wealth and Treasures
63 Omkara One who has the Form Of OM
64 Pitambara One who has Yellow-Coloured Body
65 Pramoda Lord of All Abodes
66 Prathameshwara First Among All
67 Purush The Omnipotent Personality
68 Rakta One who has Red-Coloured Body
69 Rudrapriya Beloved Of Lord Shiva
70 Sarvadevatman Acceptor of All Celestial Offerings
71 Sarvasiddhanta Bestower of Skills and Wisdom
72 Sarvatman Protector of The Universe
73 Shambhavi The Son of Parvati
74 Shashivarnam One who has a Moon like Complexion
75 Shoorpakarna Large-Eared Lord
76 Shuban All Auspicious Lord
77 Shubhagunakanan One who is The Master of All Virtues
78 Shweta One who is as Pure as the White Colour
79 Siddhidhata Bestower of Success & Accomplishments
80 Siddhipriya Bestower of Wishes and Boons
81 Siddhivinayaka Bestower of Success
82 Skandapurvaja Elder Brother of Skand (Lord Kartik)
83 Sumukha Auspicious Face
84 Sureshwaram Lord of All Lords
85 Swaroop Lover of Beauty
86 Tarun Ageless
87 Uddanda Nemesis of Evils and Vices
88 Umaputra The Son of Goddess Uma (Parvati)
89 Vakratunda Curved Trunk Lord
90 Varaganapati Bestower of Boons
91 Varaprada Granter of Wishes and Boons
92 Varadavinayaka Bestower of Success
93 Veeraganapati Heroic Lord
94 Vidyavaridhi God of Wisdom
95 Vighnahara Remover of Obstacles
96 Vignaharta Demolisher of Obstacles
97 Vighnaraja Lord of All Hindrances
98 Vighnarajendra Lord of All Obstacles
99 Vighnavinashanaya Destroyer of All Obstacles & Impediments
100 Vigneshwara Lord of All Obstacles
101 Vikat Huge and Gigantic
102 Vinayaka Lord of All
103 Vishwamukha Master of The Universe
104 Vishwaraja King of The World
105 Yagnakaya Acceptor of All Sacred & Sacrficial Offerings
106 Yashaskaram Bestower of Fame and Fortune
107 Yashvasin Beloved and Ever Popular Lord
108 Yogadhipa The Lord of Meditation